Confessions from the City: The penny stock trader

The shit has officially hit the fan. Some blogger has just tweeted that a share placing is coming in a company I just bet my right arm on.

Apparently, it’s at a hefty discount carried out by a bucket-shop broker with about as much integrity as a second-hand car dealer. And guess what? The share price is tanking.

The company only did a fund-raising a little while ago and they’re at it again. They had promised to be turning a profit by now, but those hopes and dreams of finding the next big thing appear to have gone up in smoke.

That was the last thing my already-battered portfolio needed just now.

Ping! My Twitter feed is going mad. “Have you seen what he’s just said?” writes one. “Is XXX short-selling?” asks another. “He’s a liar. It’s probably not even true,” speculates one who has an ongoing feud with said blogger.

These evangelical penny share pushers aren’t interested in whether the rumour is correct or not — they’re just livid that anyone would trash their sacred company that has so far made them a small fortune.

For some reason, they think the company is on their side. But when push comes to shove and a company needs to raise more cash to survive, the little man is the one that gets shafted.

The City boys will get the knockdown price they craved at everyone else’s expense.

So how does the man on the street gain an advantage? Talking on the bulletin boards or Twitter — where most day traders have migrated — about the next big thing is a good start.

If you’re a ramper (someone who blows hot air up stocks), you fill your Tweets with rocket emojis, implying the share price will rocket.

On the flipside, if you’re a bear, tipping a share to crash, you line your Twitter feed with emoji turds, suggesting it is a pile of… you get the idea.

Of course, we could all speak in private directly to one another but what would be the fun in that? Nobody could see what you’re buying and selling.

Luckily for me, I have enough of a following that people listen to my tips. Why else do you think 100 investors suddenly back a cash shell with no meaningful business?

Anyway, I’ve already forgotten about that last flop. It won’t put me off chasing the next “ten-bagger” (a company that grows 10 times in value). The next one is just around the corner, I can feel it.

Come to think of it, have you heard about this great company? It’s going to be the next Asos (insert rocket emojis here)

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